I've been thinking about my sister a lot lately. I miss her. Thinking about her has made me realize how much I've changed. This is kind of vaguely connected, so just try to stay with me. I've been thinking about how she thinks she's crazy because she has anxiety issues...our whole family has anxiety issues, but she's convinced that she's the only one who's not normal. And she wonders how I deal with it. Well, the plain and simple truth is that I don't hold it in...I let my craziness out all the time. You have to, otherwise, you implode. But here's how I've changed...I never used to let everything out. I used to keep everything bottled up and completely to myself. Now I have a blog. But the change occured before I made a blog. It happened sometime this summer. I always have to tell someone everything. I can't hold anything in. I'm not talking about secrets or gossiping, but if something's bothering me, or I'm worried about something, I annoy somebody else with it. And I still feel crazy, but it's out there, and it's not turning and growing inside me.
Another way that my sister has shown me how much I've changed deals with shoes. I don't buy nearly as many pairs of shoes as I used to. We would always go shopping on weekends when we lived like five minutes apart...and I would buy a new pair of shoes about once a month. Now that we live about six hours apart, shoes have simply lost their excitement. I miss shoes. She always made buying shoes fun and necessary...she always made me think I simply needed them. Now, I'm pretty sure I just need her.
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