Thank You Note:

Dear Summer,

It's me again. Thanks for the glimpse today. Do you think you could stick around for a while?

Sincerely,

Jennifer Lynn

You Can't Have It All

I wish I could just be content. But I'm not. I hate how if something's going really fantastically in my life, I feel like something else has to suffer. It's always been that way. Like I've felt before that when my social life was really great, my spiritual life wasn't even really there. Well it's kind of like that now. Some things are really, really great, but others not so much. The thing is, I don't think it'll really matter if I give up the good things. I still won't get what I want. I don't know. I'm confused, and I sound like it. I just want it all for once. Here's the best way I can describe it. You know when you're trying to catch something light in the wind (like a feather or something), and as soon as you've almost grasped it, the wind carries it in another direction? That's how it is. What I want is right there, but every time I try to grasp it, it flees from me, but barely out of reach. Almost like it's encouraging me to keep trying, but it knows that it will never really matter because it will always drift away exactly when I'm about to obtain it.

So, Summer...Let's Talk.

Dear Summer,

I was just wondering....do you think you could hurry up? I'd appreciate it =)
Thanks.

Sincerely,

Jennifer Lynn
(Your biggest fan)

"Let's go get coffee with our computers and look like smart girls."

Yesterday Kelsey and I had an amazing day. We went to church, Bigby's, both "malls," my house for movies, food, more internet, and sleep. It was great, but I kind of got a little bit caught up in its magnificence. I don't get too much caffine usually. Even when I drink soda, it's usually caffine free...and quite possibly for a good reason. Yesterday I had a coffee drink at Bigby, chocolate ice cream at my house, and four glasses of Pepsi. I was up literally all night! I'm pretty sure Kelsey fell asleep as I rambled on about something or other. Then, while she was asleep, I talked on the phone until after 3 am. I didn't start to feel tired until around 3:30. And I didn't fall asleep until 4:00am. I know that that's the typical college thing to do. But I'm not the typical college student. I like sleep...a lot. So when that time that comes around every morning came around this morning, I could not get myself out of bed. Until I had to. And I made it to class with thirty seconds to spare! So the moral of my story is...sometimes not feeling sleepy isn't always a good thing...weak moral, I know...but trust me, it's valuable in some fashion.

Three Months?!?

I'm at that age where it seems like everyone around me is getting married. The crazy thing is I'm only 19. I don't know, maybe I'm just being cynical, but I think it's dumb. How can you possibly be ready to spend the rest of your lives together when you've only known each other less than a year?!? I recently heard about someone who has been dating someone for three months and is already ready for a ring. Seriously?
Then again, it does work for some people. My parents were married after only nine months, and they're the perfect picture of a successful marriage.
But with the divorce rate the way it is today, it just seems to me that people need to learn to wait. I mean I'm a girl, so obviously I think about getting married all the time. But when I really think about, it just seems so crazy. I get frustrated now over the dumbest things. I couldn't imagine throwing another mind into the crazy mix.
So there's my thoughts. Maybe I'm completely wrong, but I just think that people need time to learn as much as they can about each other before they vow to stay with them forever.
Please don't think I'm one of those crazy people who are against marriage. I'm not at all. Personally, I think it's beautiful. People just need to be ready, and I think that right now, we still have a lot of growing up to do.

Perspective

I don't know what the reason was, but I was in an awful mood all day today. I think it started when I woke up late. There's a logical explanation for this though--I have my alarm as the chorus from "Bubbly," and the song decided to play a major role in my dream this morning; therefore, my mind couldn't figure out the difference between dream and reality. It chose dream. Anyway, I was in a rush from the beginning. Econ was fine...but English...
We had a debate...on gun control on college campuses. I was on the side against gun control. Normally in a debate, each side has a turn to speak. We tried a new approach for this one. It was called everyone-speak-at-one-time-and-drive-Jennifer-crazy. It worked. Oh and good news--since the debate was such a failure...we get to have another one next week!!

I have half an hour in between English and history. Today I filled that time with Pepsi and M&M's...also known as my drugs and alcohol. I usually only save Pepsi and M&M's for times when I'm really down or really overwhelmed...I guess I was both today. As a result, I became incredibly dizzy and was given a stomach ache that stayed with me through the two hours of history presentations...the dizziness tagged along too.

Work was fine, but I was famished. For some reason, the chocolate and added caffine just didn't cut it. Hmm...

So, like any starved 19-year-old college student who still lives at home, I came home incredibly cranky...and my mom was able to enjoy every aspect...lucky her, I know. Then we fought about the car, and I had a nervous breakdown. (I realized that I'll never be able to afford to live on my own, but that's for a completely different post.)

Therefore, it's only natural that after a day like today, I would put my own cares above everyone else's, and find anyone else's thoughts simply ridiculous and annoying. But then a friend gave me a little perspective:

(Let's call this friend Graham)

Jennifer: he's driving me crazy because
apparently he wants me to know the details of his life

Graham: its ok thats what
friends do

Jennifer: maybe

Graham: no...yes it is

So what? So, "Graham" was right, and he had a fantastic point. Friendship is exactly about telling each other the details. Because sometimes you just have to, or at least you need to, and if you're friend won't listen, who will? And from that short discussion (if you can, in fact, call it a discussion) my whole day was changed, and I was simply thankful for friends...and that's all that seemed to matter. Because who else cares about the details?

Thrifty Timing

It has recently come to my attention that I spend far too much time on things that simply waste away valuable time. Things such as Facebook, Myspace, and T.V. This trend has got to stop. I spend on average five hours a day on these things...FIVE HOURS! That means that in one week, I've spent about thirty-five hours doing things that are completely unproductive. Multiply that by fifty-two and you get 1, 820 hours. Divide that by twenty-four, and that leaves you with approximately 76 days of wasted time!!! How ridiculous is that?!? Therefore, I'm going to put an end to the unproductiveness that has become my life. I'm not going to completely give up my leisure time. Sometimes, belive me, it's needed. But I am going to limit it. I honestly don't need to spend five hours a day catching up with friends and watching t.v. Even if I read a book instead, that's still far more productive than hitting the refresh button on my computer eighty-three hundred times.