regression

You're supposed to feel like you're growing up when you go away to school, right? I feel like I'm going the opposite direction. Well not getting younger necessarily, but I'm beginning to realize I haven't been in a state of living that coincides with my age in a very long time. And perhaps I went a little too far backward in order to make up for this.

Prior to August 14th, I had had a fairly steady job for a little over three years. I had a pretty set nine to five schedule, aside from the more-than-occasional night class. I grocery shopped, packed my lunch, and woke up at the same time every morning. I picked up the mail from the post office every morning and made dinner for me and my dad almost every evening. I worked in an office with five other people, all at least ten years older than me. I was in the car approximately four to six hours a week just driving between work, school, and home.

I was your typical forty-five year old...only I lived with my parents and didn't have too many financial obligations.

Fast forward to today. I live in a small room and sleep in a lofted bed. I get up early-ish every morning. I share a suite with three other girls, all eighteen or younger. When I'm hungry, I go downstairs to the cafeteria (I haven't consistently eaten in a cafeteria setting in over five years) where they swipe my card and I pick something that somebody else has cooked. I have classes about fourteen hours a week. The rest of my time is spent studying, walking around, hanging out, or sleeping. I don't really have to drive anywhere unless I just feel like getting off campus. And I actually have a chance to get bored.

I'm not trying to sound condescending in the least. I don't feel like I am way too mature and grownup to be living with a bunch of freshmen in a dorm. Because I'm not. It's just weird. I've always liked doing things for myself, and, even though I always complained about it, I liked having way too much pressure and responsibility on my shoulders. I liked over scheduling myself. It was inconvenient and annoying a lot of the time, but it was comfortable.

But I like this stage of life too.