On Living

I just wish I could say that I'm doing great with this whole living my life thing. I wonder if anyone's ever really able to say that. I mean there are people who do a really good job, but is there anyone who's great at it?

Bipolar

So, I'm still tired; still a little stressed; still indecisive; still a little cranky; still schizophrenic. But here's the one that doesn't belong (for all you Sesame Street fans); I'm also optimistic. I know, I know--I'm still a mess.

Problems...

I hate that I complain all the time. I hate even more that I realize I complain all the time, yet I haven't stopped. So why stop now? Here's what I'm feeling like right now:

• Cranky
• Tired
• Overwhelmed
• Stressed
• Old
• Boring
• Schizophrenic
• Hungry
• Lonely
• Indecisive
• A mess

It's just been a crazy week, and I have a slightly crazy four to five days to look forward to. I know that I'll be perfectly fine after that. I just have to keep trekking.

Observation

Upside down and minus a mustache, Bucky Covington would make a very pretty girl.

Venting

So if you walk into an office, and the only person in there is on the phone, don't start asking them questions and expect them to answer. And don't just walk in asking questions before you have a chance to see if that person is busy doing something else. It's just rude. Ok, I'm done...back to work :)

Rain...Rain...Sleep...Rain...Distractions

I'm sure that by now the entire world is aware that it's been raining for two days straight now. Okay, perhaps I may have slightly exaggerated there...about the entire world thing; unfortunately, I'm completely serious about the rain thing.

I blame the rain for my sleepiness today. I didn't even realize I was sleepy until I got home today. I was in Spring Arbor until about 4PM. I always take Moscow home, and I always almost fall asleep. That road, coupled with the rain was enough to make me sleep for three hours this evening! The downside? It's 11:55PM, and I am completely awake. So, I won't go to bed for a while, and I'll be exhausted tomorrow. Oh well...that's life.

I'm also very easily distracted right now. I should be working on an English paper, but the subject is stowage plans, and it's just not holding my attention for some reason.

On a completely random note, Propel Fitness Water has 15 different ingredients in it. How is that still considered water?

Little Bits

It's been a while since I've had much to say. Let me rephrase that; it's been a while since I knew how to say what I've wanted to say. I think this past month has been about shifting for me. I've gone through a lot of little changes--nothing very significant, but when you add them all up, it amounts to at least a little something. Let's go back to mid August. I moved back home from camp. I know, I know...I only lived four miles away and worked with my parents. But it's different working with your parents and living with them. There just seem to be a few more disagreements now than during the summer. Let's move on to August 21st--I lost my best friend to the North (Northern Michigan University that is). I think that's been the hardest part.

Kelsey and I haven't been friends long (about 2 1/2 years), but you wouldn't know that if you saw us hanging out. I guess it's meant to happen sooner or later. Things change; people move; you make adjustments. I just didn't think that I'd be the one left here. I thought I'd be changing and moving with everyone else. It was different when my family first moved out here. I was a stubborn sixteen year old who was mad at the world and even more mad at her parents, but that's changed as well. I'm not mad anymore, and even though my parents and I still disagree on a lot of things, I love them more than I can express. I've finally found a least a piece of God's plan in moving us out here, and it's a big piece--a subject for a later post.

So back to Kelsey leaving. She was really the only person close by that I could just hang out with whenever either of us needed to. It's not like she's vanished off the face of the planet. We still talk some and frequently leave each other inappropriate comments, but she's not just down the street anymore. I just miss it.

I know all of this sounds melancholy and like I hate life. I don't. I'm still very much in love with it. I am very very blessed, and I know it. I just needed a release, and rather than doing some kind of strange interpretive dance like Audrey Hepburn would in Funny Face, I just chose to share it with the world (or the 1-3 people that read my blog).