You Can't Have It All

I wish I could just be content. But I'm not. I hate how if something's going really fantastically in my life, I feel like something else has to suffer. It's always been that way. Like I've felt before that when my social life was really great, my spiritual life wasn't even really there. Well it's kind of like that now. Some things are really, really great, but others not so much. The thing is, I don't think it'll really matter if I give up the good things. I still won't get what I want. I don't know. I'm confused, and I sound like it. I just want it all for once. Here's the best way I can describe it. You know when you're trying to catch something light in the wind (like a feather or something), and as soon as you've almost grasped it, the wind carries it in another direction? That's how it is. What I want is right there, but every time I try to grasp it, it flees from me, but barely out of reach. Almost like it's encouraging me to keep trying, but it knows that it will never really matter because it will always drift away exactly when I'm about to obtain it.