How Do You Define a Great Week?

Wow, it's been a while....again. What a busy life I have...when did that happen?

So actually, a lot has kind of happened since my last post. Hmm...where to begin? I think I'll start with last Friday:

I have to do ten class observation hours for a Preteaching Pathway class, and I had my first five on Friday at Addison Elementary. It was for a third grade class. Now, I love kids at every age. I could watch Disney Channel and make necklaces and play games and goof off with them all day, and I would love it! But teaching third graders, just sounded like, well, a job to me. (I'm thinking about teaching middle school...I know, I really don't make any sense.) It was a job, but it was an amazing one! When I got home that afternoon, I knew for certain that I do, in fact, want to be a teacher.

Ok, so after school...Back in like December, Nathaniel had said that he wanted to see the Ten Tenors at JCC on February 22nd. I didn't know who they were, but a great plan for a birthday present began to form in my mind. (His birthday's March 18th, so I figured that was close enough.) So, back to last Friday. He picked me up after work, and we went out to eat, to the mall to kill some time, and then to the concert. Every old person in Jackson county and the surrounding area was in attendance. So, that was my impression of how the night was going to go...ten guys singing in order to entertain the 65 and over crowd. Very fortunately, I was wrong. The show was great! And we had a great time. Conclusion: there are some very cool old people in the Jackson area.

Moving on to Saturday:

Nathaniel and I had planned to go and see Robby that Saturday, but our plans fell through, so instead we decided to go to Lansing. Our first stop was the music store. Here's the thing about the music store: I love it! You know that feeling that you get as a kid going to Disney World for the first time? That's exactly how I feel every time I go into a music store. The downside to this, not only is it an expensive guilty pleasure, but there also is not a decent music store in Jackson, so I never actually get new music. Therefore, needless to say, I kind of went a little overboard on Saturday, but let me tell you, it was worth it. I walked out with the sheet music for Augustana's "Boston," Colbie Caillat's "Bubbly," Brad Paisley's "When I Get Where I'm Going," Martina McBride's "God's Will," and the entire book for the movie Pride and Prejudice :) Oh yeah, and the mall was fun too...

Sunday's kind of short. I went out to eat with my parents and look at a few computers. We also went to Target where my wonderful mother got me the new Jack Johnson cd for my birthday. I'm currently enjoying that now :)

Monday I developed a cold. And I got a new computer! It's completely beautiful, and I am completely in love with it

Tuesday was pretty uneventful...I stayed up all night working on a paper that is now not due until after break, but what are you going to do?!?

Wednesday: the celebration of Jennifer's 19th year of life. Also known as my birthday. Well, I woke up at 6:45 so that I could hear my name on the radio! Kelsey had put my name in on 97.5...I love her :) Then I had school, and I found out that I did really well on a history test, so that was nice. Then work. After work, my parents and I picked up Nathaniel and went to Applebee's for dinner.....mmmmm. After a very long car ride home (my dad drove), we watched Kate and Leopold, and I decided that every man needs to come from the late 18th century. Then I took him back to school, and I was tired, so I went to bed. Good birthday :)

Thursday: I didn't end up having class when I got there, so I went to the Holtons', and Thomas and Phil taught me how to look around in Halo...yeah, I will never be any good at video games. AND, yesterday also began my spring break! yay. AND yesterday, I found out that I can talk to people through my computer...yeah, it's cool.

Today: is Friday. And that's the end of the longest post ever :)

Back Without a Lot to Say

I haven't written in a very long time, and therefore feel the need to post something. I don't actually have anything to say, mind you; it just feels like time.

Well, let's see. A little update on cracking eggs--I have now perfected cracking an egg with one hand. Thanks again Audrey!

I've given up sweets for the duration of lent. This includes all candy, cookies, cake, pop, and anything that tastes good or resembles dessert. I miss ice cream and mems. It's a lot harder than I thought it was going to be, but kind of easier at the same time. I guess it's not so bad, but I really did want a chocolate cake and ice cream for my birthday. Oh well, maybe I'll just have to have two birthdays this year!

Ok, so here's a small demonstration of the amount of faith that my mom does not have in me. The main argument in the Williams household is over the car and driving. It's not that my parents don't want me to use the car; it's that my mom and, on occassion, my dad are paranoid about the condition of country roads. Therefore, I often have to have my parents take me to school and work, and I rarely am allowed to go to church if it's located more than four miles from home. So, back to my demonstration--this morning, I was running behind for school for multiple reasons. I usually leave at 9am to make sure that I'll be on time for my first class. At 8:45, my mom comes upstairs and lets me know about thirty-seven times that the roads are icy and I'm going to be late. I know this, and the fact that she told me thirty-seven times didn't change anything--it simply frustrated me. So, I make it downstairs around 9am, almost ready, and in those 15 minutes my mom has gotten dressed, curled her hair, brushed her teeth, and put her makeup on. She's determined to take me to school. After many uplifting and positive words are exchanged, I somehow convince her to let me go without her, on one condition--I call her when I get there. Finally, I get out the door, and go to school--the roads, by the way, aren't icy at all. When I get to school I find something out that fixes my mother's oppinion of me for the entire day. I left my phone at home. I assume that my mom will figure it out and decide to call her when I get to work.

Now here's my favorite part. I call my mom just to let her know that I didn't call her because I forgot my phone. "Oh," she says, "I thought, 'Oh Jennifer, this is not the morning to stub up to me!'"

"Thanks for having so much faith in me Mom."

"Well, it crossed my mind that maybe you forgot it."

"And you couldn't give me the benefit of the doubt?"

"Well I did, for a second. But then I decided that you just wanted to stub me this morning."

Thanks for having so much faith in me, Mom! Love you too!

I'm Glad I'm Not a Bird

The weather this week has been typical for Michigan--crazy. In fact, I've seen three different seasons today alone. It was fall on my way to school, and somewhere between bond maturity and an anlysis of fast food, it turned to winter. And when I came into work, a bloom on a plant tried to convince me it was spring--the ice on the trees told me otherwise. But, it's days like today that make me think that God's just up there showing off saying, "Hey, look at how cool I actually am. Did you see how I encased everything in crystal?" It really is amazing. I'm just glad I'm not a bird because it looks cold--and possibly heavy--sitting up there on those telephone wires.

Next order of business...I have been so mean to some people lately. I'm not really sure why, but I'm making a conscience effort to stop. I keep saying things that make me feel horrible as soon as they're out of my mouth. But I'm working on it. Just bear with me.

"I love the simple things; they are the only refuge of the complex."

Why does everyone always insist on complicating things? I'm just as guilty of it, yet I still don't understand. I'm not talking about anything in particular, just in general. Is it because we're bored, or is it because we don't believe that things could be as simple as they sometimes seem? I wish, sometimes, that life could just be a bunch of Jack Johnson songs strung together...one after another. And you know what, things were just as complicated when we were little, or at least they seemed to be then. We may have stressed over smaller issues, but that just means that we were better then at the whole complicating the simple things game. And we complicated everything, at least I do. Things that really don't matter, or things that could've been so simple if I would've just left them the way they were. Maybe it's curiosity. Maybe we simply wonder what things would be like if we pushed them just a little bit further.

But why do we always push things to the extreme? We can never just leave them at a little past simple. They always get to that complex and complicated point. Relationships, Family, Work, School, God, the Bible, Our Grocery Lists...Life. Sometimes I think so hard on such a simple subject that I twist it so much, it doesn't even resemble what it was in the first place.

Oh well, I guess I'll just have to turn to the simple things for refuge from the complex. Things like daisies, long drives, and Jack Johnson. Hopefully, I'll never be able to twist those into things that I don't recognize...the day that I do, I might as well just give up.

"Will the Love Continue When My Walk Becomes a Crawl?"

My parents are driving away right now, and I feel so terrible. My mom just tried to do something really nice for me, and I replied with ungratefulness. I've been acting like that a lot lately. I don't really know why, but I feel horrible everytime. As soon as the words come out, I want to take them back, but it's always too late. What makes me feel even worse is that I know she'll forgive me and move on without another thought. Moms are kind of like that.

So, I know that it's probably just because I'm around Jack all the time, but I feel like I've been bombarded with "baby" things lately. Allow me to explain. Everytime I watch tv or a movie, someone's having a baby. Everytime someone calls my mom it's because someone's having a baby. All my mom ever talks about are babies. I just saw Juno yesterday (which was a very good movie by the way), and I knew it was about a teen pregnancy, but I don't know, I guess I'm just getting a little freaked out. I mean, what's with all the babies?!? Ok, I sound like a crazy person...probably because I am...I'm done.

"I need this old train to breakdown..."

Let's start with Tuesday:

Having a test in econ., a paper due in English, and a chapter to read and two pages to write on its importance in history, all due on wednesday, I end up staying late at work. When I get home, I'm tired and cranky after school and work. So, as I get upset about not having any food in the house, Mom tries to pacify me with some dinner, and I grumpily thank her. Then I start my paper. I stay up until 2:00am. and get up at 6:30 am to finish it. The only thing I have accomplished by 9:00 when I have to leave for class is my poorly written paper and part of my chapter for history read.

Ok, Wednesday. Preface: I prayed for school to be cancelled all day on Tuesday...the weather wasn't as bad as predicted, therefore, the school was still open on Wednesday.
Ok, back to Wednesday. I arrived to school five minutes before class started. I took my econ test, which I had not studied for at all, and found that if I would've studied I probably would have aced it. I guess I'll see how I did without studying and 4 hours of sleep.
Class ended at 10:55, and I headed for my English class at 11:00...the only class I was prepared for. Surprise! My teacher was sick, so we had a substitute, and best yet...our papers weren't due until next Wednesday! Great, the only thing that I had gotten done...the thing that I spent my entire night and morning on. Thanks. I'm really glad that it's not due until next Wed. now! Really, I am. The only good thing out of this...we were able to work on anything during English, and I chose to work on history, which I hastily finished.
So, I went over to the other building for some lunch, and while trying to access the internet on my ipod (one of the main reasons I wanted an itouch) the screen repeatedly decided to tell me that my username or password was incorrect...after I had been able to get on last week.
Ok, so history. It's ok. I can't really understand the professor because he talks down into his legal pad and mumbles, but I can handle that. However, it looks like I don't understand the concept of the whole writing assignment that we have after every chapter and I only received a 5/10. Great, thanks, I'll work on that. Ok, it's not that I don't understand it, it's because I do it in 15 minutes.

After work, which there's a story here too that I won't go into, I went home and ate dinner and slept for six hours! I was, needless to say, exhausted! Physically and mentally. So, when I got online at 12:00am and talked to a friend who told me some news that's not really horrible but in my weakened state I found to be the end of the world, I kind of broke down.

Now, I know that it sounds like I'm just whining, and that's probably because I am. But if I don't, everything's just going to be stuck inside of me. I know that the reason I feel so overwhelmed right now is almost completely my own fault. But I can't take that away. I'm working on it. But I feel so scared right now for so many different reasons. I just want everything to stop, so that I can look at the big picture and say, Ok, I know everything's eventually going to be okay. I know it's useless to worry, but I really am scared. And I know that everything will work out in the end, but it's just hard when all I see is everything crumbling.

"When I feel bad I like to treat myself. Clothes never look any good, food just makes me fatter. Shoes always fit. "

I've been thinking about my sister a lot lately. I miss her. Thinking about her has made me realize how much I've changed. This is kind of vaguely connected, so just try to stay with me. I've been thinking about how she thinks she's crazy because she has anxiety issues...our whole family has anxiety issues, but she's convinced that she's the only one who's not normal. And she wonders how I deal with it. Well, the plain and simple truth is that I don't hold it in...I let my craziness out all the time. You have to, otherwise, you implode. But here's how I've changed...I never used to let everything out. I used to keep everything bottled up and completely to myself. Now I have a blog. But the change occured before I made a blog. It happened sometime this summer. I always have to tell someone everything. I can't hold anything in. I'm not talking about secrets or gossiping, but if something's bothering me, or I'm worried about something, I annoy somebody else with it. And I still feel crazy, but it's out there, and it's not turning and growing inside me.

Another way that my sister has shown me how much I've changed deals with shoes. I don't buy nearly as many pairs of shoes as I used to. We would always go shopping on weekends when we lived like five minutes apart...and I would buy a new pair of shoes about once a month. Now that we live about six hours apart, shoes have simply lost their excitement. I miss shoes. She always made buying shoes fun and necessary...she always made me think I simply needed them. Now, I'm pretty sure I just need her.