in six minutes or less:

• the disk drive in my computer won't stay in my computer.
• according to my podiatrist, my toe's healing correctly.
• one more week and I'm done with JCC...hopefully forever.
• I really, really want to see Phantom of the Opera.
• I applied for Central almost two weeks ago.
• my dad's building me a room in the new house...a big one.
• just finished Men and Dogs by Katie Crouch...controversial for a novel...I liked it...don't judge.
• I still have three tests, a paper, a forum post, a quiz, a journal entry, and a group project due before the end of the semester.
• I'm really not looking forward to babysitting at 6:30 in the morning.
• added another wedding to this summer's list.
• my fingernails are blue...and everyone let me know that today...even though I painted them two and a half weeks ago.

Time's up.

officially old

Last week, my doctor scheduled an appointment with a podiatrist for me. I've been battling an ingrown toenail for the last three or four years, and I finally decided that I needed professional help. My appointment was this morning. I figured he'd look at it and set up an appointment to actually do something about it like cut out the ingrown part...amputate my toe...you know...whatever it is that those feet people do. Well, I underestimated the process. Apparently they just go ahead and cut it out right there. A how-do-you-do? and then they stick a needle in your toe and you walk out with your toe looking like a giant q-tip.

Actually I found it all kind of cool. First he numbed my toe, which actually hurt really bad because of the stinging (apparently most of the stinging's from the alcohol that he cleaned the area with before inserting the needle...I asked). Then he just kind of dug in there for about two minutes, and it didn't hurt, but I could feel pressure in my toe. He bandaged it up, and I was good to go. I was glad I'd worn flip-flops because I don't think I could've fit my foot into a whole shoe.

The fun part was driving with a numb toe. The other fun part was sitting at work, touching my toe, and not being able to feel it. It never got old.

Here's a picture of what my foot looks like right now. Warning: it's not pretty (the icky yellow color is from the stuff they had to wash my foot with).

Yeah, I'm officially an old lady who goes to the foot doctor.

girls in white dresses

I knew it was coming. I've watched it happen to my older friends and relatives, and now it's my turn. The weddings start this year. Not in general, of course, but for my friends. I've hit that age where it seems like everybody's getting married. I think it's supposed to make me feel old, but it's having the opposite effect on me. I feel like the baby, which isn't much of a change for me actually. All Most of my friends are talking about weddings and houses and babies, and I'm trying to figure out which school I'm going to go to in the fall. Weddings and houses and babies are way too far away for me right now. I realize I'm a little behind in the whole choosing a school department, so I guess that's kind of okay; it's just weird I guess. I mean we always talked about getting married and starting families, but we also talked about going to Columbia and becoming lawyers who saved the world while wearing really cute shoes. It was always just a far off dream.

It probably sounds like I'm whining, and that's probably because I am a little bit. Don't get me wrong though. I'm elated for my coupled friends, and I'm so excited to start going to their weddings. I guess I'm just feeling a little bit left behind. Not by anyone's fault. I mean seriously, I have the best friends when it comes to making sure I don't feel like a third wheel just in general. Most of them even keep PDA down to a minimum (unlike the couple I saw in the hall at school today who were literally on top of each other...why do people think that's alright?...because it's not). But there's that inevitable moment when you're hanging out with your best friend and you can tell that she would seriously rather be with her significant other than having a girls night. It's not like she says anything, but you can just tell. Probably because that's how I would feel if I were her. And I can't blame her. It's just the way life goes. I'm dealing.

Kind of in the same direction...I was recently talking to Morgan about how much fun it is when people ask if you're dating anyone or engaged, and then proceed to say, "you better get on that," when you let them know you're not. Really people? Really? I'm twenty-one for crying out loud! It's not like it's the nineteenth century anymore, and my welfare depends on a prudent marriage. I have time, and I actually like the way things are going right now. In fact, I think I'd be perfectly fine if I never married at all. That's not to say that I don't ever want to get married because some day I might. Someday is just definitely not today or tomorrow. So seriously, stop making me feel like a loser for still being single. Trust me, there are so many other things that make me a loser, and I don't think being single is one of them.

And to all of my currently engaged and soon-to-be engaged friends, I really am very happy for you :)

canyons, fake nails, and new houses, oh my!

Again, Kelsey has persuaded me that it's time for another post. So here it is:

I just got back from visiting my sister in Arizona last Sunday. I was there for an entire week and I'm 99.6317% sure it was the best vacation I've ever had. I think it may even beat Disney World. Here's how the week went:

Sunday: My plane actually arrived in Phoenix, not on time, but EARLY. For those of you who know my luck with traveling, this fact is huge. I was a little nervous about flying by myself for the first time, but the worst part was pulling my very heavy bag--heavy from the 10 lb. Priciples of Accounting book nestled on top of my week's worth of clothing--off the luggage carousal. Stacie picked me up, and we went to lunch at the BEST Mexican restaurant called El Palacio's. It was a rainy day, and I was tired from the trip, so we just rented a movie and stayed in all day. The rain actually turned into a little storm that was pretty impressive to watch. I really thought the palm tree outside her apartment was going down, but it didn't :)

Monday: My birthday was a week before my trip, so when I woke up on Monday, Stacie and Chris gave me a present and basically forced me to get out of bed. And I was glad I did because they had decorated the apartment with birthday banners, streamers, and pin the tail on the donkey. They, along with Hannah, their golden retriever, were wearing party hats as well. We played pin the tail on the donkey at about 7 in the morning so that Chris could play before he had to go to work. That's my excuse for losing...

After we got ready we went and got our nails done. This was kind of an experience for me. It was my first time getting my nails done, and as lame is it sounds, I didn't really know what to expect. I couldn't really understand the guy that did them because of a language barrier, so we exchanged a lot of awkward smiles and the occassional "I have no idea what you're saying" chuckle. Even though I spent a lot of time trying to file them down after we left, I love them. Although I'm still trying to get used to long nails.

We did a little shopping after getting our nails done. The malls in the Phoenix area are huge! The guy at the Aveda store gave us some of the best tea I've ever had (which you can purchase for $14 per box--we didn't), and I got my free birthday lip glosses from Sephora :) That evening we watched a movie and ate the most delicious chocolate banana pie that my sister made for my birthday!

Tuesday: Tuesday was a little gloomy, so we decided to go to the aquarium. It was so much fun! We went kind of late, and we were the only ones there, so I didn't feel awkward acting like my goofy self when I'm around my sister. There were so many cool things--like a water ride (that we didn't go on) that actually goes through the aquarium and a sting ray pool. The sting rays actually come up to you and slap the water for food. They were so funny!

Wednesday: We went to the Grand Canyon!! I was so giddy as we walked toward it, and then when I actually saw it, I was in awe. If you've never seen the Grand Canyon, I definitely recomend that you do at some point. It's breath-taking. How anyone couldn't believe in an all-powerful Maker after witnessing something so magnificent is beyond me. Here are some pictures, but they don't do it any justice.

These pictures are from the way there, but on the way back we ran into a blizzard. Stacie hadn't driven in snow in about a year, so I volunteered to drive...before we actually hit the blizzard. I had to go between 25-30 mph on a 75 mph highway with an hour where traffic was stopped completely. A four hour drive turned into an eight hour nightmare. After getting through the snow, I very willingly handed the wheel back to Stacie. I never want to see snow again. But I have to admit that the Grand Canyon was worth it, although I'll probably never go back in the winter.

Thursday: We went on a trail ride at Lake Saguaro. Ok, so I've ridden a horse a couple times...on pretty level ground...for about 30-45 min. at a time. This trail kicked my butt, and I was sitting on it the entire time. It was an hour and half ride up and down a pretty steep mountain with really narrow trails. It was really pretty though, and I learned a lot about the desert. It was a pretty cool experience.

Friday: The zoo! If you know me, then you probably know that I absolutely love the zoo. I've always thought that the zoo would make a really cool first date--I mean that way if you really don't hit if off, at least you have something cool to do. Anyway, that has nothing to do about going to the zoo with my sister and brother-in-law. The Phoenix Zoo is absolutely beautiful (which seems to be a reoccuring theme in this post). There's even a small lake in the center that you can take paddleboats out on, and there's two little monkeys that inhabit the island in the center. Unanimously, our favorite exhibit was the monkey exhibit that you could actually walk through. They were so cute! We went to the San Tan Brewery for dinner where we sat on the sidewalk under really cool heater things and I had the best burger I've ever had!

Saturday: A bittersweet day since it was the day before I had to leave. Stacie and I went for a hike on the Heiroglyphics trail in the Superstition Mountains. This was so cool! It was really hot, the trail was really rocky, and we were starting to get really tired when Stacie asked me if I heard water. I did, but half attributed it to the wind (or a mirage...that you hear instead of see...I mean, we were in the desert). As we got closer, it became clearer that it was definitely water. After climbing over some really big rocks--that gave me more than one bruise--we found a small waterfall! It was like an oasis in the middle of the desert. The trail's known for the petroglyphs on the rocks, but I was so mesmerized by the clear and refreshing water that it was hard for me to pay as much attention to the glyphs as I had intended. I even took my shoes and socks off and put my toes in the water. It was blissful :) Oh, and I got a sunburn, which kind of made my whole vacation in a weird way. I mean if I was in the sun long enough to get a sunburn, then it was a good vacation, right?

Sunday: I went home :( After a gate change scare, the plane ride went pretty smoothly. Coincidentally, the Hillsdale College track team was on the same plane as me. I actually found out before Sunday, but my parent's bought a new house...around the block. Which is really cool for them, but it means that we have to get the one we have now ready to sell. Which I feel would be a lot easier if I weren't in the middle of my most stressful semester. And, alas, reality begins again.

I miss the mountains.

because kelsey told me to...

I haven't posted anything in a while. Part of the reason is because I became a little anti-sharing-my-life-with-the-rest-of-the-world, which I think I'm over, though not completely. The main reason, though, is that frankly, not a lot's been happening in this little life of mine. This semester's been a little crazy, but mainly in a work-school-work-school-school kind of way. BUT Kelsey told me to post something anyway. So here I am.

Kels, for you, stats is okay. I'm turning twenty-one on Saturday. I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I guess it's that really great age that everyone talks about, and it's supposed to mean that you're all grown up (I could write a book on that, but I won't :)). But it also means that birthdays are kind of whatever from here on out. Which is sad because I love birthdays! When I was little my mom always had a party for me at our house. I didn't even ask to have it somewhere because she and my aunt could plan the best parties, and I always had an amazing cake! We'd play games and I'd open presents and pass out party favors and we always seemed to end by watching a movie. They were the best. The year I turned 14, I found out that Jordan and I had the same birthday, and I've celebrated mine with her in some way every year since. I will again this year too. I can't wait! Hopefully the fun birthdays won't end there.

do-over please.

I should be doing homework right now. But, alas, I’m contemplating less important things. Have you ever just really wanted a do-over? Like you want to tell someone, “Wait. I can do that so much better.” Just a second chance really. I have felt that way so many times over the past few weeks. I’ve wanted to make a better first impression on someone I’ve just met or have a better 75th million encounter with someone I know far too well. Sometimes it’s just been that I want to do an assignment over because yeah, the first one really did suck, but really I can do better. Two of the first lessons we ever learn are that you can’t have it all and you win some, you lose some. But even though I’ve known that since before I could walk, I still don’t want to accept it. I do want to have it all, and I do want to win…everything…always. I just want to rewind these past three weeks and have them go the way I want. The funny thing is I’d probably still make all the same mistakes. I mean yes, I’m random and a little more than a little eccentric, but when it comes down to it, I really am a creature of habit…even in my randomness and especially my eccentricities. Someday, I hope that works out for me somehow. Lately though I’ve just felt more like you win some, you lose most. I know it’s just a funk. And things will look better in the morning. It’d just be nice to know which morning so I can plan on doing things better that day :)

midnight stroll

I'm a business major. And that's cool. I'm okay with it. But when your life revolves around school and work, and you're looking at textbooks, numbers, and computers every day, sometimes you get stuck. The mundane sucks you in without you even realizing it. And that's where I've been. Stuck. But I've had this little nagging thought that I've been forgetting something. I rediscovered that something tonight, which is really just a culmination off the little things. Like sitting down and playing the piano. Or sitting down with a friend and talking about life.

I took a very short walk outside my house a couple minutes ago. It's a little past midnight right now. Walking around the neighborhood at 12 in the morning isn't quite the same as going for a night walk around camp, but it still accomplished its purpose. It's been a while since I've just looked up at the stars. I mean really looked. You know, like when you just stare and the longer you stare the more stars you start to see until you just stand there speechless, amazed at how awsome God really is, and how no matter how overwhelming or how monotonous life gets, that sky is still out there. Just waiting to be marveled at. It kind of puts everything in perspective.

I forgot about the little things like looking at the stars, and I got stuck. But I think I'm unstuck now :)